Lessons of Love
by Stella the Hedgehog
Summary: Mildly AU. I think I'm in love. With him. YASHAMARU. But my father will never have it, and Yashamaru is taken, and will he, himself, accept my feelings? Sandcest, dark themes. Rating will go up. Joint project with MewisBack
1. Reason to Continue

Guess what? Im back. That's right. Back to Fanfiction. For good. Forever. And a day. Well, until I get a job and crap, but Im 13 so that's not too likely now.

Anyway, this story is special. Why? Because it's got my favorite person in it. I CLAIM FIRST YASHAMARU YAOI. I think... do I? Maybe? Correct me if I'm wrong!

**Title of Work:** Lessons of Love

**Pairing:** Gaara X Yashamaru

**Warnings:** Yaoi, self harm, possible M preg if y'all will read it. AU, cause my special friend lives. And lastly, SPOILERS to ep. 77 and 78.

**Summary:** I was no stranger to love - I had seen it before without actually understanding it. I'd seen Kankurou walk home from school with a blushing girl who kissed him on the cheek, met the women my father began dating after my father's death, heard Yashamaru talk about Karura fondly, and watched Temari pick flowers for our uncle to make him feel better. But when love captured me, it hit me hard. He would teach me about love, but first, I would teach him to feel. And then we would learn together... love's sweet rewards and conciquences...

oOo

"Gaara-sama." Yashamaru murmured, eyes widening in shock.

I dropped the knife. It hit the floor with a loud _clank_ that broke the disturbing silence. "Oh... Y-Yashamaru... I wasn't..."

He looked dissapointed. I bowed my head, studying the floor.

Yashamaru crouched next to me, smiling bitterly. "Gaara... Kazekage-sama assigned me to be your caretaker. I don't want to see you do such a thing. Promise me that you will never try such a thing again."

I wanted to tell him that I had seen him do the same thing, once, when he thought that I was asleep. That I saw him in his room when I walked down the hall to the bathroom. I saw him cut his wrist, I heard him cry Karura's name. (A/N: Karura is Gaara's mom. Maybe you know that, maybe you don't. But now you know, don't you?) But I bit my tounge. All I could manage was, "Yes. I understand. I'm sorry, Yashamaru."

"Are you hurt?" He asked in his gentle, careful way, taking my hand, examining it.

_No, Yashamaru. I would be if I had my way, but this cursed sand protects me._ I wanted to say it, but I simply shook my head.

"I care about you." Yashamaru admitted. "It pains me to see you hurt like this."

I hugged him, threw my arms around his neck and buried my face in the curve of his neck. He didn't respond for a moment, but then he wrapped his arms around me, barely hugging me back. His body was tense, and I could tell that he was bewildered by my sudden actions, but he didn't try to move away, and I took this as a sign that it didn't bother him. I would learn later that he didn't move because he was _scared_ to move, but then it didn't matter. This was the moment I fell in love with him. My uncle. _Yashamaru._

He was so gentle, so warm. His voice was quiet as he crooned sweet, comforting words into my ear; he had a manner of speaking so mild that it made me think that harsh words could not pass his lips. He smelled of the dumplings he had been making for dinner, and I could feel his soft hair above me, tickling my cheeks. At that moment, everything seemed so perfect.

It was later that night when my thoughts began to argue with each other.

oOo

How was it? Let me know. Y'all are the best!


	2. I'll Show You How To Love

Wow, already I have one review! This fanfiction is going real well for me- I think it'll be divided into three parts, and I'm on Part 2 so far (although I have to transfer everything from pen-and-paper to type) My computer is being all suckish. This may take awhile.

oOo

My thoughts gave me no rest that night. I saw his face when I closed my eyes, his patient voice rang in my ears, and my heart fluttered constantly with some unknown emotion.

I got up, my feet carrying me all on their own with no direction from the mind. They took me down the long, dark hallway outside my room. I could see Temari sleeping in her room, face so peaceful; even though I couldn't get to sleep much at all these days, with questions from my dead mother worrying my mind and this newfound emotion in my heart, it made me envy her because of my own unrest. I passed my father's bedroom, but with no soft glow from a nightlight, I could only see his silouhette, more of a dark lump entangled in bedsheets than anything.

Finally, I reached my feet's destination. He was awake, and his face greeted me with a look of shock.

"I don't feel well, Yashamaru-chan." I whimpered quietly at his questioning stare.

I think my sudden prescence may have frightened him, because he took a deep breath before he responded. "What hurts you, Gaara-sama?"

"It feels all tight in my chest." I explained, walking across the tiny room and climbing up onto his bed. I pressed myself against his side, and like some magical medicine, the pain went away. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

He shook his head. "Some matters are best dealt with alone, Gaara-sama."

I made the stern face that he always made when he was unhappy with one of us. "Please tell me." I murmured.

"Persistant, aren't we?" He smiled, no teeth showing, though at least it wasn't a frown. "If you must know, I've been thinking about your mother... Karura."

I smiled, too. Yashamaru often told me stories about he and my mother; when they were young children, when they took the Chuunin Exams together as teammates, when my mother began dating my father.

"Yashamaru, did you get to see Karura before she died?" I asked quietly. I had taken to calling her by her first name. I never knew her, so it seemed strange to call her Mother like Temari and Kankurou did.

"I was there." He murmured. "I helped to birth you."

"It must have been hard." I looked soulfully into his gray-violet eyes. "You said that she still loves me, even though she is an angel in Heaven now... so I know she still loves you, too. She was your sister... she has to love you because it's impossible to hate one of your family members, right, Yashamaru?"

Yashamaru looked uneasy. "Well, it's no doubt that she loves us all- you, Kankurou, Temari, your father, me, and our other siblings. But she died cursing this village and everything it stood for. She died with harsh words for your father," he whispered, "and for me, as well. She was in a great deal of pain when she gave birth to you... you're not like other children, Gaara-sama."

Tears made themselves known in my eyes. I hated to see him upset.

My uncle had a very beautiful face when he smiled. His head was covered with thick locks of golden hair, his skin pale and unblemished, aside from a few scars from various shinobi tasks that had been assigned to him. His eyes were expressive and beautifully slanted, the color of the sky when it storms, a rare and beautiful sight in the desert. His nose was the same as the one my mother had had, the same nose that I had then, and it made him look even more like Karura; and his lips were identical to my mother's in every aspect, soft, full, and heart-shaped. But his face was creased with sadness and weariness, and it made me sad to look at him. "I love you, though, Yashamaru-chan. Karura does, and I do, too!"

Yashamaru smiled and patted me on the head. "Thank you, Gaara-sama. Though there are those who hate you for what you did to Karura, I cannot find it in my heart to hate you, because you are almost like my own child." But I saw the pain in his eyes... I saw how he hurt.

It was my fault. I killed Karura. It was my fault he hurt so badly, and he had to pretend that he was alright. His fake smile was convincing, but I could see the hurt in his eyes, as if they were windows to what lay within.

I didn't know this pain that he felt. Reassuringly, I placed one hand upon his cheek. He gasped and placed his own hand over mine; long, slender fingers closed around my hand.

He was so soft, so delicate, but strong. He was all that I admired and all that I wished I was. I didn't pay attention to the lie that always played on his lips in his smile, or the scars on his wrists, because those were merely his weak points.

I kissed him. His lips were soft as flower petals, just as I had expected. "I want you to show me how to love, Yashamaru. I've never had anyone to really love before... and now I want to love you." I whispered. He put his hand on my chest, gently pushing me back, enough to break the kiss, but not enough to cause me to fall. His eyes still screamed pain.

"I don't even know how to love properly anymore..." He said softly, a tear sliding down his face. "My name... it means 'demon'. I am supposed to be without love. My parents were both great Jounin, and I had three older siblings who were shinobi. Even though I was the baby of the family, they raised me in the shinobi way. I am a tool, meant only to kill and not to ever love. My mother, God rest her soul... she named me justly. I'm sorry, Gaara-sama."

"But you do so much for us." I whimpered, wondering if all he did for us even meant anything. "You take care of the whole family and do everything that a mother would do. Ever since I was a baby, you were like my mother, Yashamaru, because I never really had one. You play with me and read books to me, and you train with Temari and Kankurou, and you comfort Father. I always thought that was the way you showed your love, the things you do for me every day." I felt my face heat up. "I love you, Yashamaru, even though I don't know how to show you. One day, I'll find a way."

His eyes, so full of tears, looked at me fondly, and he tried to smile. "I'll show you how to love the best I can, then, Gaara-sama. Though I was raised cruelly and forced to be a shinobi, I have loved all through my life; my sister, your siblings, your father, and of course, you too. I'll show you how to love, Gaara-sama." His voice was strong and yet so gentle, and it raised my spirits to hear these words.

Yashamaru kissed me. All of his sorrow and fury and pity was in this second-long touch, his lips to my nose. I realized here that he had never kissed me before. But I loved the feeling of his lips.


	3. Wavering Doubt

A/N: Wow, chapter three got one of my favorite writers in on this- Mew-is-Back! And this is where the plot really starts. From here on in, Mew is helping me with this, so to seperate what she wrote from what I wrote, her parts will be underlined from now on. The two of us usually sit in my room and trade back and forth, writing two fanfictions at once, or playing My Disney Kitchen for the Playstation, which is the ultimate in inspiration, and I highly reccomend it. LOL. Anyway, here is Chapter 3 of _Lessons of Love_.

Mew-is-Back, thanks once again! I owe my sucess to you!

oOo

Yashamaru told me nervously that we needed to keep that kiss a secret, and I didn't question why. Once in a while, though, he would casually kiss me, usually on the cheek or forehead but sometimes he would kiss me on the mouth, too. The touch of lips always remained simple and chaste, though once, he slipped one hand up my shirt and his fingertips ghosted over my chest. He pulled back sharply, his face turned bright red, and he apologized extensively. I've seen people doing that on some of the shows Temari watches. I think it's called 'making out.'

I don't get it at all.

Things changed a little when my dad found out though, and I didn't quite understand the relationship between my uncle and him until then. The Kazekage and Yashamaru barely ever exchanged words, and I never really noticed how hostile Father acted towards him until this moment. Yashamaru pulled violently away from me, glancing up in shock. A few moments before, his soft lips had been on mine. "Oh, ano... Kazekage-sama, I..."

Kazekage-sama looked hard at me. "What. The. FUCK. Are. You. Doing?!"

"I... I.."

I gasped as Father lunged, pushing Yashamaru away from me. His fingers threaded in my uncle's hair, pulling, and Yashamaru winced in pain. "What the fuck are you doing to my son? Are you trying to make him _queer_?" He shouted, and with a grunt of effort, he pushed the shorter man back until his head collided painfully with the wall behind him.

"N-No, Kazekage-sama, I wasn't..." _Smack_. My father pulled him back, and hit him again against the wall. "K-Kazekage-sama!" _Smack._

"Stop!" I shouted. "F-Father, please!" I closed my eyes, trying to block out what was happening.

"Shut up... _fag!"_ Father regarded my feeble attempts to make peace with a nasty sneer. "This is my house. What say do you have in how I run things?"

While my father was distracted with me, Yashamaru turned around sharply, tearing free from Father's grip. His hand clamped around Father's throat in retaliation, but his eyes were full of uneasy fear and he was bleeding from a gash in his forehead that was formerly healing nicely, but had been reopened by Father. When he spoke, his voice was tremulous. "K-Kazekage-sama... what the fuck is wrong with you!" This was the first time I had heard an obscenity pass his lips.

Tentatively, I pulled on my father's sleeve. "P-Please don't hurt Yashamaru, Father... I love him!"

The Kazekage looked as suprised as Yashamaru. "I'm s-sorry, Gaara," This was from Yashamaru, and my father and I both turned in suprise. "Forgive m-me... because I took advantage of your l-loyalty."

"What are you talking about, Yashamaru!" I shouted. "You never took advantage of me! You never betrayed me!"

"Oh, Gaara, you're s-so naive..." A ghost of a smile flickered over his delicate features. With this, he slipped out of conciousness, falling heavily against my father's chest. Father looked at him in disgust, and pushed him to the ground. Then, he looked at me, his gaze hardened. "Well, are you going to help him? You can't let him die..." I knew he did not care at all for his brother-in-law, the reason for his concern was simply because otherwise, he'd have to deal with _me._

And then... he left. I had no knowledge of healing, and I knew things would be bad if he didn't get the help of a medic. "Yashamaru... koi!" I whispered, using the word my father often used when he spoke about Karura. "P-Please don't die! K-KANKUROU! TEMARI! Somebody h-help!"

Nobody came. That's when I kissed him. Slowly, with all of my feelings... _because I knew now that he didn't love me._ He _did_ take advantage of me... but I couldn't be mad at him.

He woke up, and I felt my mouth fill with metallic tasting blood. During the attack, he had bitten his tounge, and his mouth was now bleeding, but not as heavily as his head. His eyes slowly opened, and he rolled onto his side, sputtering. "G-G-Gaara..."

"Why... w-why don't you love me back?" I cried softly, burying my face in my hands.

"Gaara... h-honey..." Yashamaru whispered soothingly, sitting up to lean against the wall. "I didn't mean what I said back there. I d-do love you... I love y-you so much, Gaara-sama..."

"P-Please stop lying, Yashamaru. It hurts." I cried, and I pushed him away when he tried to hug me. "Your h-head... does it hurt, Uncle Yashamaru?"

"Please go get me the gauze. I believe you'll find some in the medicine cabinet." Yashamaru said briskly, a sudden change in expression. I felt my heart break at his cold manner of speech, and I clutched my chest in pain. "I'll show you how to bandage."

"Y-Yashamaru.." I leaned up to kiss him, but he turned his head so my lips connected with his jaw instead.

"Hurry. This could be the last of my time, unless we stop the bleeding."

This frightened me. I obeyed his orders as fast as I could, racing back to his side with bandages and antiseptic. "I d-don't know what to do!" I whimpered, beginning to panic. "Oh God, Yashamaru! Please don't die!"

"Why would you care?" He murmured, squeezing his eyes shut to block the pain.

"_I still love you!"_ I whispered. "I still love you, Yashamaru! It doesn't matter if you hate me... I love you!"

"Honey... I never hated you." Yashamaru protested, helping me to pour the antiseptic on a cloth and apply it to the wound. He winced but did not move away. As I wrapped the bandage around his head, I sighed. "You're lying to me again. You hate me because I killed Karura... don't you?"

"No, Gaara-sama! I din't h-hate you... I know it wasn't y-your fault... c'mere..."He leaned forward and tried to give me a kiss to reassure me, but I shook my head violently, fighting back another wave of tears.

"St-Stop lying!"

"We'll find a way through this... I promise..." Yashamaru assured me softly, once I had fixed the wound. "I'm a little confused now, so I can only imagine the pain you're in now. We'll find a way..." I looked into his eyes, and I tried to trust him, because I knew that he was always serious when he used that soft, stern tone. "L-Let me kiss you... Gaara-sama."

I did. It felt good, even if it was a lie.

"When we're angels, Yashamaru-koi."

A/N: What did you think? I had a lot of fun writing this with Mew! The next chapter is the killy chapter... but I said it was AU, right? That means something ends up different than in the anime... and it is NOT the last chapter! In fact, theres gonna be a whole lot.


	4. When We're Angels

CHAPTER 4

My mind was reeling. This man in front of me... the one that took care of me, the one that I loved...

_He wanted me dead. He wanted to kill me._

"Why?"

His eyes grew full of malice at my question. "You are the vessel of the demon Shukaku. You ARE that demon. You caused her so much p-pain... _you killed Karura!_ I hate you! I tried to love you, b-but I still hate you!"

"I knew it..."

Yashamaru laughed. "You ended up so sweet, even though you're so evil, even though you caused my sister such excruciating pain in your birthing. You remind me of her, really, though you look like your father." He spoke this word bitterly, as if scorning Father. "I thought that I might love you, if I had tried hard enough, and believe me, I tried. I thought that maybe we could have loved like you had wanted. But everytime I looked at you, I saw a mixture of your father and that... _Shukaku. _I still do. So we can't."

Yashamaru closed his eyes, and I shivered in fear. "Yashamaru, open your eyes and look at me," I begged, taking his hand. "See what you are hating! See what I have become! Show me your eyes, Yashamaru, _onegai..._ you have beautiful eyes..."

"Shut your mouth... demon. Who are you to speak of beauty?" Yashamaru spat. His words stung. "She... my sister... _was beautiful._ She was true beauty. I am not beautiful... I am hateful!" He shut his eyes tighter and winced in pain from the bleeding wound on his face. _Wounds I gave him._

"This is it then," I said coldly. "You have nothing more to say, uncle? You lied to me for 8 years, and now you HAVE NOTHING TO SAY!" My voice raised to a shout.

"Correct." He opened his eyes and looked at me. "That's all I can say to you. Perhaps if she were alive, the words I may say on my deathbed may have more value. But hold this always with you, little Gaara. You were never loved. Not be me, not by your father, and never by Karura. Temari and Kankurou are only loyal and kind out of fear. So you never knew love, and you never say beauty. I wish I could say more to you, Gaara. How you ripped my heart in half... but I'm going to die."

He unzipped his vest.

_Paper bombs!_ As quickly as I could, I scraped most of them off, leaving very few. Not enough to kill him, at least. I ran over to the side of the building and threw them off. I didn't care where they landed, as long as they weren't on Yashamaru... as long as they weren't hurting my _Yashamaru-koi._ I ran back to his body and lay beside him, curling into his chest. Maybe the bombs there weren't enough to kill him, but they would surely demolish my tiny body. I recieved a secret satisfaction in knowing this. "When we're _angels_, Yashamaru-koi."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" He shouted, pushing me away from him. I held tightly to his arm. "I hate you, Gaara! Nothing that you say will ever change that! You are NOTHING in my eyes! We won't be angels together! We'll _burn in Hell_ together!"

I curled up on his chest, snuggling against him. I could hear the bombs begin to hiss. "At least I'll be with you." I cried softly against his chest.

And as I swirled out of conciousness, his arms wrapped securely around me. It felt right. He was my _koibito_ again.

And we wouldn't die. Neither of us would die that day, because we were held tightly together as one, and if we died, we would die as one.


	5. The First Lesson of Love

A/N: DRAKANA. You are my favorite reviewer. You really made my day and inspired me to continue! Thanx, you ROCK! -rocks out-

oOo

His arms felt so wonderful around me. When I was asleep, I dreamed of it. That one moment of security and reliance that was shared only between us, when he hugged me to brace himself against the pain of his wounds. I never wanted the feeling to end.

But when I woke up, I was alone. And I felt so cold. I had barely enough time to question my whereabouts until a nurse walked into the room where I lie, and then I knew. I was in the hospital. "Miss?" I mumbled. "Where's my uncle? Who brought m-me here?"

"Your uncle? He's in the next room. And... he's the one who brought you here, right before he passed out. He was barely alive. It'll take serious recovery for him to... well..." The nurse was obviously about to say more, but she thought better of it. "How are you feeling?"

"I need to talk to him!"

"I'm afraid not." The nurse eyed me apologetically. "He's asleep. He's... not doing well."

"What do you-"

"He's... he's not going to make it."

My heart felt like it was breaking. Yashamaru... _dead_... He couldn't die! I loved him! The thought that I could never see him again was painful to the point of not wanting to go on. "N-No!" I cried "Please l-let me see him. Even if he's asleep, couldn't I just watch h-him sleep?"

"Honey, I'm sorry, I can't." She murmured, shaking her head.

_"Gaara... h-honey..." _

_He used to call me that..._

"If I can't see him now... then I'll see him when we're angels." I closed my green eyes and began to hold my breath, waiting for the life to drain from me.

"Honey-"

"I loved him. I really loved him, even if he thought I was... a monster." I gave up on this method of suicide and decided instead to just lie there and wait for death. "If he wakes up, tell him that I'm sorry I ever hurt him, or his sister. Tell him I said it was an accident. I never meant to kill Karura-chan."

I wanted it all to stop. I wanted him to hug me again. Kiss me again. Love me again. But he was dying, and now I was too. _When we're angels, Yashamaru-koi._

"Onegai," I said suddenly. "Let me see him. Let me watch him sl-sleep." I stood on my wobbly legs - luckily my injuries were not bad enough that I couldn't walk. "Let me see Yashamaru. You don't understand! He's been my father since I was born! He's the only one I have! I want to see him before he dies! I l-love him!"

The nurse was about to protest, but sympathy flooded her eyes. Softly, she took my hand and lead me to his room.

He was still _beautiful._ But his face was pained, and weak, periodic spasms racked his bruised body. He looked so weak and sickly to me, and after eight years of looking so strong, that was frightening. "Don't stay too long." The nurse said as she left me alone with him. "Don't forget, you need your rest, too."

"Yashamaru... koibito... All I need is you." I carefully climbed up onto the hospital bed, sitting beside him. "Let's die together, koibito. Together now."

I heard footsteps approaching, and I turned to meet my father's cruel, hard gaze. "Is he alive?" He growled.

"Y-Yes, I-"

"He should have died."

"B-But... why?" I whimpered.

"He's corrupted you more than you were before." Father spat. "_He's gay."_

"Is it his fault, though?"

He looked at me with an unreadable expression, and I quickly changed the subject.

"Kill me. Please, Father."

"Wh-What... I... G-Gaara-ch-chan..."

I turned at the sound of his beautiful voice. He sounded like an angel at that moment. _Yashamaru._ His eyes, though listless and pained, were still the same beautiful, gentle, violet orbs. Full of the same bitter hatred, this time directed at my father rather than me. I didn't think I'd ever see him again, didn't think he'd make it. I buried my face in his chest as I began to cry.

A gentle hand rested on my back, meant to comfort, I thought, until I realized it was not his but my father's, as I was torn away from him.

Yashamaru looked even more pained. "G-Gaara... I'm s-"

"_Queer."_ The Kazekage snarled, not at my uncle but at me. He dropped me to the floor less than gently, but not intended to hurt. "And _you..._" He turned his attention to my uncle. "I can't believe I trusted you with my children!"

"Kazekage-s-sama... please..." Yashamaru whispered hoarsely. "Why m-must it end... l-like this?"

"You've CORRUPTED him."

"Father... no, o-onegai." I innerupted. "I fell in love with him. He didn't corrupt me. I don't really understand what it is you keep calling him, but if it's about... us..." I took a breath. "It's _my fault._ I'm sorry, Yashamaru. It's my fault that we're g-going to d-d-die!"

**Lesson One: Forgive And Forget**

"Gaara, please don't say such a thing!" Yashamaru said, smiling lightly. For a moment, he was the Yashamaru I remember. _My uncle... the man I loved._

"But he's right. You'll die here and now... _Yashamaru-koi."_ My father mocked.

oOo

A/N: Good? Ungood? Read and review, I'll type chapter 6 ASAP.


	6. True Love

Sorry about the delay, due to circumstances beyond my control. Here is chapter 6 of Lessons of Love!

By the way, dub watchers! Did you see Yashamaru debut on Cartoon Network last Saturday? Sexxii-nesh! -drools-

oOo

I saw the glint of metal as Father retreived a kunai from his weapon holster. Someone screamed. It could have been Yashamaru, but more than likely it was me.

_He's going to kill him. He's really going to kill him this time. Oh my God... he's going to kill him..._

_Yashamaru... KOIBITO..._

I couldn't let him! I wasn't thinking- I only reacted the way that Yashamaru would act if Father attacked me.

"Do't hurt my _koibito!_" I screeched as I lunged at my father. It was a hopeless cause. I was only eight, after all. I tried to use my fingernails to wound him, but he pushed me away easily.

"K-K-Kazekage-sama!" Yashamaru's voice was choked. "I do not want to harm you, but if you keep provoking me, then I _will_ kill you!"

_I don't get it. Father is trying to kill him... how can he give second chances? How can he be so calm?_

_Why am **I** giving him second chances? Because I love him._

_He loves Father, then. Not me. He doesn't love me. He hates me because of what I did to Karura... Yashamaru, I'm so sorry!_

"You've CORRUPTED my son!" Father snarled. He whirled around to face me. "Or were you always corrupted? Were you always... like that? Did you always love Yashamaru?"

"I always loved him!" I stepped in to defend my uncle.

"I should kill the pair of you, then! You're a demon! You killed my wife, you -"

"Kazekage-sama! ENOUGH!" I had almost never heard Yashamaru yell. He was struggling to stand, his shoulder dripping with blood. "Don't hurt Gaara! Onegai! I... I love him back!" I gasped as he said this. "Homosexuality isn't something you can beat out of someone! I'm standing firm to it... and I'm sure Gaara will, too!"

"H-He's right! You c-c-can't make me st-stop loving him!" I defended once I had found my voice. "I always will! Even though he hates me!" My voice stopped trembling, and I stood up taller. Yashamaru seemed as if he was on my side, but even if he wasn't, it was reassuring that he agreed with me.

A kind looking nurse appeared at the door, and Father hid the knife. She must have heard the commotion. "Is everything alright? I thought I heard a scream."

I was about to speak, but Yashamaru beat me to it.

"N-No. I'm fine. Kazekage-sama was just leaving."

On my uncle's cue, my father turned and walked briskly out the door, muttering that we both had his best wishes.

I looked in disbelief at Yashamaru. He sat down on his bed again, and I could tell that he was in pain. I wanted him to expose what my father had done- the knife, the threats... but he didn't. He remained silent. "Gaara. Go back to your room. You need your rest."

I didn't question.

I wouldn't find out the answer that day, not until he and I were reunited once again. But it turns out that Yashamaru didn't speak my father's intentions because he had been in love with him since he was very young. It was a big suprise to me, and I asked him how he could ever love someone so cruel.

Yashamaru just gave me a thoughtful smile. "True love is accepting flaws. You accept all of mine, don't you?"

oOo

A/N: Sorry that that was so bad! I'll try to get the next chapter up ASAP, and this is where the plot really thickens. Bring your tissues.


	7. Goodbye

A/N: Oh, how suprised I am. People actually LIKE this story. People enjoying my work... what I thought would be a rare occurance has actually become reality. To my suprise, there are other Yashamaru fangirls. "0mG, yshamaru tryed 2 k1LL garra!!!!111one" Yeah, yeah, we know. Give it a rest, drama queen.

I told you to bring tissues.

oOo

And like that, Yashamaru was gone. Father said I couldn't see him anymore. As soon as he got out of the hospital, he just got up and left me.

It was so sudden, so brutal. I was all alone in a world where there was nobody to talk to me and nobody to tuck me in at night. I missed him so much, missed the sound of his voice and the sweetness of his kisses and the warmth of his body. He was gone. He _left_. Betrayed me. And for a while, I hated Yashamaru and I was glad that he left.

Until I found out why.

oOo

"Gaara. Gaara-sama. Are you awake?"

I thought I was dreaming. But then, I realized that I wasn't. He was sitting above me, eyes full of dark hope. "Yashamaru." I gasped as I stared up into his violet orbs. He looked at me without explanation, I stared back without question. I wanted to kiss him, but I didn't know if he liked me again or not, and so I held back. Instead, I rolled over, turning my back to him. I wanted him to know that I didn't like him anymore, that I didn't forgive him for leaving me.

"Gaara-sama! What's wrong?" Yashamaru sounded puzzled.

"You left!" I snarled quietly. "You didn't even say goodbye, you just... left! Do you know how hard it is to live in a house where everybody hates you? Where nobody even gives you a second glance? Where you're a... a _demon?_"

"N-No! Gaara... I didn't..." My uncle sounded suprised. "That's not it! Trust me, I didn't leave you!"

"Then where were you today?" I cried. "And yesterday? All week long? Father s-said you didn't w-want to b-be here anymore! He said y-y-you dodn't want t-to be with m-me!"

"No! He _made_ me leave, Gaara-sama!" Yashamaru pleaded, placing his hand on my back. "Believe me! Please, believe me, because there's nobody else! Kazekage-sama won't let me back, and my brothers and sister are all dead! Please... believe me!"

"I..."

**Lesson Two: Trust**

I rolled back over to face him. "What do we do, Yashamaru? I want to be with you, but if he won't let you back..."

"I have an idea. Are you ready?" He looked half excited, half fearful. "I want to leave this place. I want to go to Konoha, and I want to take you. I can get a job, and you can make friends there at the Academy. Kazekage-sama can't hurt us, and we can be together again, Gaara-sama! Just you and me!"

My heart leaped into my throat.

_I want to leave this place._

"Wh-What about Temari-chan and Kankurou-kun?" I murmured as I felt tears begin to escape my eyes.

Yashamaru shook his head. "No! They're staying. I only want you, Gaara-sama. Only you and I." His violet eyes looked sad. "I-If you don't want to... if you want to stay, then I won't make you..."

"I want to go." I took his hand. "Don't be sad. I want to go with you, Yashamaru-koi! I'm just crying because I'm happy!" I forced a smile to show him that I was really happy. But that wasn't why I was crying.

I had never ever been out of Sunagakure, and I was _scared_.

Yashamaru had never looked so relieved. "I'm glad!" He leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead.

"Father will never let me, though." I reminded him. "You're not even supposed to be here. How will you get him to agree?"

"I can't." Yashamaru responded. "I'll never have your father's approval. He'll always be bitter." He closed his eyes for a moment, letting the bad feelings dissipate. "So we should leave before he wakes up."

I knew at once that it was a bad idea. But I wanted this so badly, to be able to live with him again, without my father interfering. I thought perhaps that by leaving Sunagakure, I could erase in my mind all the wrong that my father had done, how he tried to kill my beloved. And so I nodded.

"Good." He smiled a little. "I've already packed my things. Regardless of your decision, I was going to leave for Konoha. But I brought an extra suitcase for you. Pack your clothes, and a couple toys. Not too much. I promise, there will be more when we get there."

I was unsure, but I had to trust him, because he was my link to freedom. To live in constant fear of death here in Suna, or to take my chances and run away from it all? To me, the answer seemed so obvious. I was willing to take the chance. I wanted this freedom. I wanted to make the choice. I wanted to continue to live with him, to give him this second chance to prove himself.

I packed as he instructed me to, bringing along only my teddy bear. It was all I would need. All the while, he told me about Konoha. The thick, leafy forests and the flowers, the snow in the winter, the Academy that I would attend. I began to wonder how he knew all of this. Finally, we were ready to go.

"Wait a minute, Gaara-sama." He said softly. He took a piece of paper and a blue marker from my drawing supplies. He began to write in his neat cursive. I couldn't read a word of it, and so he read it to me.

"Kazekage-sama," Yashamaru began. "Don't look for me, and don't look for Gaara-sama, either. I have taken him with me. I don't want to see you hurt my nephew anymore." At this point, his voice was giving way to tears. "My feelings for you will always remain. Try to remember me, and try not to hate me too much. _Onegai._"

I took the marker from his hand and wrote in my own messy print: "Yashamaru didn't take me against my will. I wanted to go with him. Temari and Kankurou, I love you, don't forget me. I'm sorry that I am a dissapointment, Father."

Yashamaru left the note on my night stand before we left, out into the bitter night.

The sun's rays were beginning to peak over the horizon as we exited the house. Suddenly, it seemed wrong to cry. This was nothing to fear, it was a new beginning. I smiled, a smile that remained until we got on the train to Konoha, and probably throughout the time I slept on Yashamaru's shoulder.

oOo

A/N: How was that? Read and review, I hope that nobody was OOC.


End file.
